As men, it is often difficult for us to admit that our feelings have been hurt. But it happens. I’m not talking about those insults that guys fling at each other. I’m thinking of the situations where someone we know wrongly accuses us of something. Or those times when we believed a person was our friend, only to have them reject us. What can really hurt is when we face condemnation from someone we trust and care about deeply.
Life happens. We must deal with these types of battles. How we choose to deal with them is what sets us apart from this world. In our difficulty, it is natural to fight back; to try and cause pain for the one causing us pain. The struggle with this choice is that it simply causes the situation to escalate. There is a better option that will result in a double win. We can find peace and healing, and the world will see the witness of a man with a godly character.
Although he had his times of failing, King David was designated as a “man after my own heart” by God himself. When he was depending on God, he taught us some very valuable lessons on how to pursue godliness. One of these accounts is recorded in 2 Samuel chapters 13-18.
David’s son, Absalom killed his half brother Amnon in an act of revenge. Because of this, he was forced to flee Israel and was away for three years. David loved his son and asked him to return to Jerusalem in order to restore their relationship. Eventually, by the end of chapter 14, the two had reconciled. However, instead of responding in gratitude for his father’s forgiveness, Absalom staged a coup, appointed himself as king, and force his father, David to flee for his life.
The purpose of giving this summary of David’s grief and pain is to allow us to see his response. In 2 Samuel 15:25-26, his first reaction was to discover if God was pleased with him. This is a huge choice. David understood an important truth that the Apostle Paul states clearly in Romans 8:31, “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” We don’t have to prove ourselves stronger, smarter, or better than those who hurt us because the only opinion that matters for all eternity is God’s.
The next thing David did was to go to the Mount of Olives and pray. His prayer was simple, (I am paraphrasing here) “God, you need to fight this battle for me!” David’s prayer is recorded for us in Psalm 3 (take a moment to read this Psalm). His hope for “vengeance” rested squarely on the shoulders of his God.
Ultimately, God answered his prayer and David was returned to his throne. Even as David sent his men to retake the kingdom, his orders were to, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” He was not interested in vengeance, but restoration.
When David was attacked, he did battle on his knees in prayer. God came through, David was vindicated, and he remained a man after God’s own heart. We can do the same.