It is not surprising that as the Apostle Paul begins to unpack what is involved in being a man of good reputation, he begins with our most important relationship at home. We are challenged to be the husband of one wife.
This statement as been under used in many discussions and ministry decisions. For some, it is nothing more than a means of disqualifying a man from ministry if there is divorce in his past. In the first century church, the freedom of men to seek physician relationships outside marriage was also a problem that needed to be addressed. (see 1 Corinthians 5:1)
There is, however, a larger meaning to this injunction. Allowing emotional or physical entanglements with a woman other than your wife is a dangerous path to walk. We need to protect our eyes and our minds from thoughts that may tempt us to action. Jesus reminds us of our vulnerability in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
As important as this protection is, the truth of this challenge is far more positive. This is not just about what we should avoid as men who are pursuing righteousness, but a challenge on what we should be seeking. It is a call to commitment and focus on this one woman that God has given as our helpmate. It is an understanding that nothing in this world, apart from our relationship with our Lord, must ever get between this one woman and my full devotion to her.
Marriage is the only human relationship God provided before sin entered the word. It was created in perfection. A godly marriage is used as the picture of the bond which exists between Christ and the Church. Protecting our marriage to this one woman in our life is important to God.
Some practical suggestions:
1) Develop and use good communication skills – don’t just hear but listen with your whole heart.
2) Deal with conflict immediately, a small problem is always easier to fix that a large one.
3) Take the spiritual point in leading your wife in becoming a woman of holiness; not by force or demand, but by encouragement and example. (see Ephesians 5:25-28)
4) Learn to love your wife as God loves her. See her through the eyes of a holy God.
5) Your love and devotion to your wife is NOT dependent on her response to you, it is directed and commanded by God.
Until a man can have a full commitment and focus on his wife, he is never going to be fully available to receive God’s plan and purpose. God is calling us to this devotion.
NOTE to faithful readers: Due to travel and other responsibilities, I will be re-publishing previous posts for the next few weeks. New posts will return in early October. Thank you.