I have a confession to make. As with most statements that begin like this, it is something of which I am not proud. When I was a young youth pastor, we lived in a home that was in the middle of our small town on the main street. To be accessible to my ministry students, I told them they were welcomed to stop by any time if they wanted to talk or just hang out. For the most part, this worked very well. Teens would come by occasionally and spend time talking or just playing with my small children.
But there was one young man who showed up all the time. It was often when we were sitting down for a meal or trying to get our kids in bed. It got so annoying, that (and here’s the part I’m ashamed of!) at times, if we saw him coming, we would retreat to the back of the house and not answer the door, pretending we were not home.
Over the years, God has taught me something about people who irritate me. He often puts them in my life for my benefit. If I simply attempt to avoid them, I am missing the opportunity God provides for me to grow and mature in grace. In Proverbs 27:17, God teaches us this, As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. This defines God’s purpose in some of the relationships that he brings into our lives. But have you ever visualized what he is saying? A piece of metal used to sharpen another is always rough; it’s raspy. The rough surface is used to home the smooth surface to make it more usable.
God may place rough, raspy people in our lives for the same purpose, to smooth out our rough edges as we learn to show them grace. From a biblical standpoint, relationships are vital to a healthy existence and the fulfillment of God’s purposes for our lives. However, they are also one of God’s primary character development tools. This means we may also serve a role in sharpening others. Over the long haul, relationships bring incredible joy, but they can also be an avenue of necessary distress. Both sides of the coin are essential.
One of the keys to healthy, lasting relationships with people who rub us the wrong way, is the quality of longsuffering. This biblical idea is not a term we often use and is not popular in today’s world. We tend to turn away from anything that involves intentional difficulty. Yet the power of this quality in our lives is profound and essential in every lasting relationship.
Romans 2:4 tells us, “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” WOW! God’s willingness to put up with our sin and indifference toward him was the very tool he used to bring us to the place of salvation. Had he pushed us away, we would be lost for eternity.
The original Hebrew word for longsuffering means “long of breathing” and is the opposite of anger which means “short of breathing” or “violent breathing”. In the New Testament, the idea involves a person who is “long of soul” and indicates bearing long with people. One definition defines the word as “refusing to give up hope in a relationship.”
Who is that person who irritates you beyond endurance? It may be a coworker, neighbor, or even a family member. They may be an amazing gift from God. Allow their presence to shape you and teach you grace and mercy. Allow the to sharpen you as God uses you to sharpen them.
NOTE: I will be out of the office for a time so there will me no new post next week. It will be back on the 23rd.