As a dad, I heard this phrase many times. I am certain most of us have. “It’s not fair.” It may be one child’s scoop of ice cream is bigger than his sisters, or your teen is not allowed to go to the party when “everybody else will be there!” Or you may have heard this from a co-worker who feels they are treated differently than others.
This may be something that you have struggled with in your own life. Being passed over for a promotion or not receiving the credit for an accomplishment can be difficult to deal with. If it is a child believing they are getting the short end of the stick or an adult whose life is not working out the way they planned, one thing is true, LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!
When we come to this realization as men pursuing godliness, we must decide how we are going to respond to the unfairness of life. Will be kick and scream like the child wanting more ice cream, or will we respond with gentleness in finding a solution to life’s inequities? The Apostle Paul tells his young friend Timothy to respond as a fair-minded person.
If we are going to pull this off, we need to understand what it means. A fair-minded person does not demand their own rights, but in gentleness, looks for ways to assure the needs of others are placed ahead of their own. Another word Scripture uses for this quality is meekness.
Now, before you panic, there are two truths you must grasp. First, this is not a natural response, and we will never accomplish it on our own. In 2 Corinthians 10:1, Paul says, By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! Paul is declaring it is only when adopting the attitude of Christ that he can show humility and gentleness toward the people to whom he is writing.
This brings us to the second important truth. Meekness does not equal weakness. The gentleness and humility of Christ allowed him to endure the atrocities of the cross because he knew it was God’s plan for his life. A weak man could not have dealt with the unfairness of what he went through without lashing out, especially when Jesus had all the power and authority to stop the fiasco with a single word. It was humility and grace that empowered him to do the hard thing.
But we also see Jesus lose it in the temple on two different occasions when his Father’s house was being desecrated by those stealing from the people. Did he fail his fair-mindedness when he turned over the tables and drove the offenders out with a whip? Not as all. They were offending his Heavenly Father and it had to stop. Fair-mindedness means choosing our reaction based on what is right for God, not what is right for us.
This is a difficult quality to master. Our sin nature is programed to lash out, to get what we deserve. Therefore we go back to Paul’s words for the reminder of our need to depend on Christ empowering us with his gentleness and humility. This requires us to make the choice in each situation, to evaluate our response instead of lashing out first and asking questions later. What reaction will best represent the truth of Jesus? If people who should know better are discrediting the name of Jesus, they need to be confronted. However, if unbelievers are acting in sin, that is who they are. Anger and retribution will not show them Jesus. A gentle word and action in the face of unfair treatment frees the Holy Sprit to show himself in their lives. We must choose wisely because others are watching. Are we fair-minded men?