Last week we discussed the importance of maintaining moral purity. This is necessary as a means of preserving the reputation of Christ and his Church. But God also gives us this directive for our personal protection as well. The loss of moral purity could result in the loss of trust from those we care for deeply. It could also destroy our families and mess with every aspect of our lives. God is not some sort of prude who wants to spoil our adventure, he is a loving Father who wants to protect his children.
With this truth in mind, I want to offer some practical insight to help us in our battle to stay morally pure. It begins with a reminder of God’s best. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” To look lustfully isn’t simply looking at a person and finding them physically appealing. What Jesus is warning against is allowing the temptation to grow to a point of imagining or planning how to fulfill that desire.
Jesus also reveals the severity he attaches to this injunction when he goes on in verses 29-30. “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
The battle is intensified by the sexually oriented culture in which we live. Movies and music celebrate freedom in sexual expression. It even comes into our homes through television and the internet. Therefore, the most practical place to start is to eliminate the temptation where we can. As men pursuing godliness, we need to make wise choices. We may need to limit or eliminate certain forms of “entertainment” to which we are exposed. If images on screen are causing your thoughts to go in the wrong direction, TURN IT OFF!! Don’t allow the excuse of “curiosity” to take you places in media from which you may not be able to escape. Immorality does not start with our actions. Its root is always first in our thoughts. We must guard what we allow into our minds through our eyes and ears. Know yourself and don’t wander into situations that are going to test your resolve.
Another important aspect of our defense for married men is to obey the directive of Scripture and find pleasure in the wife of your youth (see Proverbs 5:17-19). She may have changed physically over the years. You may find others to whom you are more physically attracted. You must remember that the woman you loved is not the outer shell, but the spirit inside. This is the only one who should offer you fulfilment. If you have feelings of frustration or unfulfillment with your spouse, communicate this with her. If this doesn’t solve the issue, have courage as the spiritual leader of your home and seek counsel with a godly mentor or therapist to help resolve the deficiency.
We are admonished to fill our minds with the proper thoughts. When a temptation comes, instead of dwelling there, open the Word or recite memorized verses. Thy don’t have to be related to the struggle. Just filling out mind with proper thoughts helps diminish the unhealthy ones.
Finally, be accountable. Find a trusted brother in Christ in whom you can confide your struggle. Agree on a plan of action when you are tempted. There is a good chance he needs you as well. Call each other during difficult times so you can be distracted and reminded of your commitment to purity. The battle is real. We need to go on the offensive.