As a reminder, the restorative step of reconciliation is simply the means of repairing a relationship to the level it was before the offence was committed. This has three primary facets, reconciliation before God, which we discussed last week, reconciliation with people who have been hurt or damaged by our poor decisions, and reconciliation with ourselves.
Often times, reconciliation with ourselves is the most difficult of the human relationships to heal. Another way of saying this is that it is often very hard to forgive ourselves for the poor choices and the consequences that result from moral failure. However, before we can hope to repair the damage we have inflicted on others, we must deal with our own grief and guilt.
If we apply the truth of God’s forgiveness discussed last week, we are a long way down the path of forgiving ourselves. The problem is that although God chooses to forget my sin when it is forgiven, Satan does not. His tactic is to heap guilt and shame on us by digging up our past failures.
My goal is not to load more accusation on you when you are already questioning yourself, however, there is an important question to ask. “Is my inability to forgive myself and move forward based on a lack of faith in the promises of God?” Romans 8:1 reminds us that, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. If my confession and repentance have removed the condemnation of a holy and perfect God, doesn’t it seem reasonable to believe that I can let it go as well?
The Apostle Paul gives us a great example of the importance and power of self-forgiveness. He was a persecutor of the Church, even to the point of approving of the death of Christ followers. This was his life’s work. However, once he experienced the forgiveness of Jesus, he recognized the power of that transformation. Look at how he expressed this realization to his young friend Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:15-17, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst.16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
Paul is making a critical point. When I choose to put my sin behind me and move forward in the confidence of the forgiveness of Jesus, I am actually demonstrating the power of God. My focus is no longer on how bad I am, but on how amazing God is. I am showing the world that by an act of simple faith, God can take a person who has done wrong, and transform them into one who is clean and usable before him. This is an amazing testimony.
One final point on self-forgiveness and reconciliation. If you struggle to get through it, you could benefit from talking with a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. We are often too invested in our failure to see the hope God offers. Allowing someone to show you the new person God has empowered may help get the fallen person out of our focus. Pray for God to show you that person in your life.