As we enter the month of February, we cannot help but be reminded of the focus on love. In fact, if we do forget, many of us will be reminded of the importance of February 14th, by our wives or significant others. I have often said that Valentine’s Day is a conspiracy involving florists, candy makers, and Hallmark to sell their products. However, I do not think it hurts for men to take a moment and think about the love commitments we have made. This is not accomplished through giving candy, cards, and flowers, although this might be a good idea. If we are to genuinely love those people in our lives to whom we have committed the promise of love, our reflection needs to go back to the source of love.
In 1 John 4:8, we see this truth, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” We cannot simply skim over this statement without recognizing how profound it is. It does not say God knows how to love or is loving. Through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, we learn that God is the essence of love. God and love are synonymous. He IS love. If we are going to learn what it means to love, we need to look at God.
This truth is reinforced in Ephesians 5:25-26, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” We recognize that God the Father and Jesus are one in Spirit. Therefor, since God is love, Jesus is love. When we are told to love as Jesus loved, this is a command for us to take on the character of Christ in how we view the person whom we love. The bar Jesus sets for us is exceptionally high. We are to love as Christ loved the church. This is a call to total sacrifice and commitment to another. Christ’s love for the church caused him to surrender his life and suffer separation from God the Father. It was total, no holding back. And according to Romans 5, this act of sacrifice by Jesus took place while we were still in our sin. Jesus gave his all when we offered noting but ungodliness in return.
What this demonstrates is that our love for those God has placed in our lives is not dependent on them being loveable. It does not require our wives to treat us right before we can offer sacrificial love. It does not even mean they have to be good people. If we have committed to love them, that love needs to be unconditional.
In fact, the Ephesians 5 passage quoted above goes on to say that our offering of unconditional love may be the very act that causes the recipient to become a holy and pure individual. This is so contrary to what our world teaches. Most people only show love to the measure they are shown love. We treat others the way they treat us. This is backwards in God’s eyes. As men, it is our role to take the high ground, demonstrate sacrificial love first and allow God to use this to change the life of the one to whom we show love.
But what if they never respond to our sacrificial love? Again, we must look at the source of our love for the answer. God never takes his love away from those who reject him. In fact, we our told that his is an “everlasting love”. It is clearly understood that we are not perfect and sinless as God is, so we will never love flawlessly. However, this is our goal. This is the target toward which we aim. We will discuss this a bit more next week. But in the meantime, practice loving as God loves.